Hello all my Costuming and Cosplay friends!
So I’ve been overweight pretty much since 5th grade. I don’t have a lot of memories of not being at the very least chubby, and I remember in 7th grade learning about BMI’s and being told I was overweight. Physical Activities were never the fun thing for me to do.
I’ve had multiple attempts at weight loss in my life.
First, in college (probably around 2007) I got up to 240 and I tried doing the South Beach Diet and working with my doctor to try appetite suppressant pills. I started loosing weight but failed to keep it off after I got off of the appetite suppressant, which was causing my blood pressure to skyrocket.
Next, I’d graduated from College in 2009 and was working full time at a customer service job. I played world of warcraft, made cosplay, but didn’t feel too bad about my health. Well, the not active at home not active at work, eating a LOT of ramen, caught up and back to 240 I was. I started looking into options to loose weight, halfheartedly worked on stuff, got to 260, and then in 2012 moved to South Korea to be an English Teacher.
Being healthy was both easier and harder in South Korea. I walked everywhere and took public transportation. Eating good food I cooked was easy because there were grocery stores and little shops everywhere. However, there were also TONS of little restaurants and, loving Korean food, I tried out a fair share of them. I ate a lot of Kimchi, Ramen, Bibimbap, Chumchi Joomokpop(Tuna riceballs, probably spelling them wrong.) I joined a gym, and came back from Korea in 2013 at close to 210.
I lived with a friend when I first came back while I job hunted, got a car, and apartment searched. I steadily gained weight during this stressful time. Eventually got a job, got an apartment, and a car. I settled into Staywell, a place that helped create healthy plans for employers who wanted to give their employees incentives for being healthy. I was up to 280 lbs at this point, in the summer of 2013. This helped motivate me and I joined Medifast in 2013. I worked out, ate on plan, and lost over almost a year 80 lbs. Slowly the weight loss stopped, I struggled.
I changed jobs in January 2014, started working for the State of Minnesota, I got a boyfriend in May 2014 (first ever in my life). He didn’t like the food I ate. My roomate’s boyfriend wanted to move in with her, so I needed a place to live. I moved in with a friend temporarily while I tried to figure out what to do, my boyfriend and I weren’t ready for that step. He lived at a place our friend group called Geek House. It was Dan, Ben, and my Fiance Mike all living there. Eventually, I convinced Dan to finish the basement of the house so that I could move in, and Angie, Ben’s girlfriend, convinced him to let her move in too. I continued to gain wait and had given up on Medifast at this point, and we started construction at geek house.
Eventually we finished the basement, summer of 2015. I moved into Geek House very slowly, and started a very happy, but not healthy life. I didn’t eat right, I didn’t work out. I loved to cook, but it wasn’t healthy food. Slowly, the weight started pilling on even more. I wasn’t even thinking about it. I realized I was heavier, I noticed gaining weight, but… It just wasn’t as important as the other stuff going on. I Loved my roomates and boyfriend, but I didn’t always like living with them. I felt food distribution and chores were not always fairly shared. I was possibly more dramatic. So home was a little stressful. I got engaged to Mike, then my mom got cancer, then his father died, and his mom got cancer. It was a LOT all at once. We decided to move in 2016, and started apartment hunting for a place of our own. We moved, and then there was a large fire and my cousin and her son died, her mother and nephew were seriously burned.
After all this, I gained and gained, and finally stepping on the scale in January of 2017, I realized I was… oh god this is hard. I was 350lbs. It’s so … stark seeing it there. Knowing. I’m only 5’2″. That’s a lot. I have to be on blood pressure medication. I’ve talked to a lot of doctors and they haven’t all been pleasant about my weight loss. I changed clinics but tried to not really open up to them. Doctor’s make it so hard to trust them when they treat you like crap over and over again.
So, Feb 1st I started trying again. I started meal planning, tracking my food. Trying to find meals Mike likes. Our apartment has an indoor pool and a gym and we are working out, trying for 3 times a week at least.
Then, at the end of Feb, I realized I hadn’t lost any real weight. I was still yoyoing. In previous diets, I’d dropped like 10 lbs in water weight the first week. I realized, I really needed more help. So I went to my doctor at Health Partners, called my insurance, and looked into what I could do. I setup a physical for 3-1-2017, got a referal to Park Nicollet Weight Management program, and got sent a GIANT packet of papers to fill out.
Those papers asked me every little detail of my life. It was a lot to think back on. A lot to try to grasp. I felt like I was reviewing every time I had failed in the past, failed to get and stay healthy.
I’m not trying to loose weight for other people, I’m trying to do it for ME. I want to live, I want to be healthy. I don’t want to be in pain, I don’t want to have to take medicine to keep living if I can avoid it. I want to try to be healthy for me. Mike said he would be willing to go to the doctor too so we are working on getting that setup, his appointment is in April.
I’ve sent back the large packet of paper, so I’m waiting for Park Nicollet to message me at this point to setup an appointment. I’m going to try to keep a record of my weight loss to keep me motivated.
Squee out – Gossie